Big decisions moving forward.

Sorry I haven't written much over the last week. Been dealing with some stuff and in a crappy mood. Anyways I am seeing a new doctor. This one is an RE and hopefully knows her stuff. After 10 min. of talking to her she doesn’t think we are suffering from Unexplained IF, but I may have PCOS. They ran some blood tests last week and those came back normal on Friday. I go tomorrow for a special ultrasound to check out my ovaries for cysts. The RE seems to think that’s what on them based on looking at the old doc’s ultrasound results. So we will see…I will keep updating you all on here and my page. 

But the hubby and I have come to the decision that if nothing is wrong tomorrow and no cysts and such, we are stopping treatments for awhile. The last 6 months I mostly have let this consume me and have taken him on a roller coaster ride with me. I have neglected our relationship and right now we need to be at our strongest and we are not. The hubby is in school full time and works part time at night so until he is finished with school next year at this time we are taking a break. Next fall we plan on revisiting the subject and going from there.

Don’t get me wrong it is hard and I ask myself am I sure, but this is for the better.  I do feel at peace about this decision, and we will keep trying naturally to in the meantime. You just never know, God works in mysterious ways. :)

We are taking a vaction this year and taking time to work on us. I think I am going to make us a bucket list of things we have never done or would like to get out of the way before we have our little Miracles. 

So in the meantime I am going to keep blogging and connecting with others thru my facebook page. Myself and a few others are starting a support group in our area. So I have plenty to keep me busy so as not to obsess about it any longer.  

I will try to keep up on my posts this week. It gets hard sometimes thought when you don’t know what to say.  :) 

Hope everyone is having a great week.  

Here are some funnies to brighten up your Monday! :)

Song of the Week! :)

Happy Monday! Here is the song of the week!

Song of the Week!

Happy Thursday! Hope everyone is having a great week. I have a few things I want to post today. Trying to get caught up. :)

It's Almost Friday!

The hormones have been getting the better of me lately. I am guessing PMS, the progesterone, all of the Pregnancy/Baby announcements, and the fact Mother’s Day will be here in 3 days is not helping. 

Having a hard time keeping a positive outlook and not wanting to give up, last night I came really close to getting in the car and just driving till I can’t anymore. I know running away from your problems doesn’t solve anything. The reality of being Infertile still has not set in yet. When I think about being labeled Infertile it just seems so surreal and gets me thinking how many more years do my husband and I have to endure the Emotional Roller Coaster Ride from Hell? 

Last week and this week everywhere I turn its pregnancy announcements, baby shower invites, baby pics on Facebook. Most of these people are on their 2^nd child or had talked about never wanting children. I hate to say this, but some of them don’t deserve to have children. The ones that stand right in front of me and say they would rather have a boob job than have any more children because boob jobs are cheaper. Or the ones that complain about their pregnancy when the only complications were morning sickness and a C-section. And this is their reasoning for not having anymore… Oh that sounds so rough. 

Come walk in my shoes for a week or even a day. Come join me on the roller coaster I have been riding for the last 2 years. Where some days it’s a struggle to watch TV or even run errands, because all you see are babies or big bellies.  Each month you have 2 weeks of hope, followed by an enormous let down when Aunt Flow arrives, than it’s a week of crying and wanting to give up. Then you somehow muster up the strength to try again and perfectly time the Baby Dance around ovulation sometimes feeling like it’s a chore rather than an act of love.  Then here comes the 2 week wait again and the hope. To me this is the most dreaded time of the whole process waiting to see if AF will show or if you will finally have your miracle on the way. God has his own timing with things and I am trying so hard to understand. I guess I just want to know why? Why were we chosen to walk this path? While crack heads and murderers pop out kids like they change their underwear. Someday I will know why God has chosen us, but for now I am praying for strength and patience thru all of this.

Last year Mother’s Day didn’t bother me, but this year the reality of Infertility is setting in and with the xtra hormones and PMS I am not doing too well. I am not even sure if I am going to be able to make it thru the day without having a meltdown. I recently read a blog post from Infertility Advocate Keiko Zoll about being a Someday Mother… I never thought of calling myself that. I am a Someday Mother and although my arms may be empty at the moment, my heart is already filled with so much love and joy for the Miracle that will one day call me Mommy I almost feel like I am already a mother. 

Sorry to vent, but I have been debating all week what to write and I just winged it and this is what came out. 

Well to all of the Someday Mothers or the Mothers with little ones in heaven right now, know that you are not alone. We all belong to an exclusive sisterhood with an understanding and bond that no one will ever know. And God’s plan for each and every one of us will work out someday, but until then keep your head up, the prayers coming and never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game. 

Until next time! 

There is always light at the end of the Tunnel

HAPPY TUESDAY! :)

I think I am going to start posting other things on here as well as sharing my Infertility. I will be sharing things around the house, recipes, funnies, rants & raves, etc...

I would love to hear from some of you if you would like to see anything else or more of this and that.

Let me know. :) Hope everyone is having a great week! :)

For now here are some funnies!!

Feeling like a Warrior Today! :)

Great song.

The Warrior -- By Scandal feat. Patty Smith

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QL8uegd7DQs&feature=share

My Infertility Board on Pinterest!

Be sure to follow along on Pinterest if you have an account! If not send me your email and I will send you an invite.

http://pinterest.com/linnyk317/infertility-and-me/

Happy Friday!!! Here are some more Funnies to start off the weekend with a bang!! :)

Be sure to follow my Facebook page! :)
www.facebook.com/thedreamofmommyanddaddy

Posting some Funnies! :) Need a laugh today.

*** Fertility Tip: Don't have an emotional breakdown about infertility at your workplace. You never know when you're going to be on an episode of Undercover Boss. (Courtesy of 999 Reason to Laugh at Infertility)

*** A burglar was working his was thru a house using a small flashlight when a voice from a corner of the room said, “Jesus is watching you”. He turned is flashlight toward the voice and saw a parrot on a perch. He asked the parrot “ was that you?” The parrot replied “Yes, that was me”. The burglar thought wow a talking parrot, so he asked, “what’s your name?” The parrot replied “my name’s Moses. The burglar blurted out “Moses, who would name a parrot Moses?” and the parrot replied, “the same people that named a rottweiler Jesus”.

Here are just a few! :) Feel free to share your own.
You can also visit my page
www.facebook.com/thedreamofmommyanddaddy

Julie's Day of Hope 2012 - June 16th Balloon Release

A day when we will all come together (including our families and friends) from around the world as one in support of infertility, and release our hopes, dreams, thoughts, prayers, etc. in the form a balloon!

June 16, 2012

 Click on the link below to get more info and to RSVP! :)



http://www.facebook.com/#!/events/134044056729185/